We've all seen it. A wide-receiver or running back speeds his way into the end zone and immediately kneels in prayer or raises his finger to the heavens acknowledging God's role in improving said football players stats.
The theology behind such antics is quite simple:
1. God wants to bless you with cool stuff.
2. God can only give you cool stuff if you ask in the right way and often enough.
*Giving money (lots of it) to Creflo Dollar or Kenneth Copeland can help you figure out the right way to pester God into giving you your stuff.
3. Once God finally gives out the goodies to the ones who figured out how to ask the right way, be sure to kneel in the end zone or get a JESVES vanity plate on your new Bentley.
However, for some the process just does not seem to work. They did everything Joel and Benny and Creflo told them to do and yet they still drive a Toyota, work in middle management, or even miss a pass. This brings us to Steve Johnson of the Buffalo Bills. It seems that Mr. Johnson has been busy praising God non-stop but God was apparently busy with less important things than ensuring that the wide receiver would have his hero moment in the end zone.
This cosmic injustice prompted Steve Johnson to tweet his Psalm-worthy dismay:
"I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO..."
1 comment:
Well, said.
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